AUGUST 28, 2020
What is YOUR EQ? (Your Emotional Quotient) In 1995, psychologist Daniel Coleman wrote a great book titled; “Emotional Intelligence.” (Check it out) Ms.Teri gave this book to me years ago and I have just returned to read it again. (Just the slow learner in me) While many in the academic world value IQ more, I like EQ because it addresses our responses to everyday social interactions and challenges.(I probably just have a very low IQ) Dale Carnegie reminds us of the two most important things adults are concerned about in life. They are our HEALTH and influencing other people. Most of us are concerned only with our physical health and should be more concerned with our spiritual (our soul), our heart health, and our mental health. Lots to think about here as our minds and bodies are pretty complex. In order to win others over to our way of thinking, we need to understand OUR emotions and the other person’s emotions.
The emotionally intelligent person acknowledges emotion in him or herself and in others. The key is, “Don’t believe everything you feel.” We should be concerned about how we react to our emotions. Our job is not to keep our emotions in check, but rather understand them when they are happening so that we can deal with them immediately without letting them feed into something toxic to our minds or bodies. Anger and depression have their purposes in nature but don’t let them grow out of proportion by then turning to drugs and alcohol. This is where self-awareness comes in. Acting on impulses and sensations without emotional intelligence will probably have inappropriate and disproportionate consequences.
I know it may seem weird, (at my age) but I am trying to educate myself by studying emotions. I have always been interested in what makes people tick so this is my way of understanding myself and other people better. I only need to look inside myself to see that I am a highly emotional and impulsive individual. My job is to tame my emotions in making them into a positive for my life. That doesn’t mean us guys need to worry about shedding a tear. Many of us were taught to “Keep a stiff upper lip.” How sad when one cannot connect with another human being on an emotional level. Finding emotional common ground with others has always been a strength of mine in meeting new people and dealing with friends and family. Yes, I run into those individuals who are so consumed by their emotions they have difficulty in thinking clearly. EQ, unlike IQ, cannot be gauged across the board nor simply divided into “Good” or “Bad,” “Right or Wrong.” I used to think that IQ was the way to great success but success in different fields means different things to different people. If I begin to understand my strengths and weaknesses, I hopefully can begin to understand how those work with my EQ.
I don’t think you can or will ever change your emotions based on how you grew up and your life’s experiences. But I feel you can transform your thinking and your reactions to your emotions that may help you overcome those negative emotions we all carry around in life. We each have a choice as to how we react to our emotions and to how others might treat us. Choose wisely or you may get hurt both physically, mentally and spiritually. Courage comes to mind here.
What is your EQ? It is just part of WHO you are? Make yourself a plan (vision) to understand who you are and who you can be. Get somebody to help you with that plan in moving forward in your life to become who you were made to be. Find someone that inspires you. Someone that sees something in you that you can’t see in yourself. They are normally right in front of you so don’t look too hard.
Elevator Guy