APRIL 30, 2021
IMPACT OTHERS
One of my favorite songs is by Tim McGraw entitled; “Humble and Kind.” Not only do I love the lyrics and the tune, but I love what it stands for. For my entire life, I have attached my feelings and emotions to certain songs. (More Positive emotions than Negative emotions) Growing up in the 50’s and 60’s, I enjoyed music that my parents listened to and learned to appreciate their many styles of music. Since both of my parents were music teachers and performers, you can imagine the breadth of music we listened to in the Nelson family. I loved the Classics, Gospel, Country Music, Soul Town, and The Big Band sound. In fact, our father directed and played trombone in many groups highlighting Big Band music his entire life. During WWII, he directed; (Tommy Dorsey Style who was known as “The Sentimental Gentleman of Swing”) a 20 piece orchestra on the Aircraft carrier “U.S.S. Roi”, which entertained troops from the Philippines to Hawaii. Making music during war time seems too good to be true compared to what others went through. He was 85 when he finally gave up playing in local Big Bands because he was unable to stand up quickly enough for his trombone solo. (Ha!)
Back to “Humble and Kind.” Some might look at this as just being a nice guy. There are tons of “Nice guys” in our world and yet, what does it mean? It might mean life will be much more peaceful and serene if everyone got along or if I just give into the crowd, people will like me more. But that is not realistic to think we will all get along. Many men (and Women) want to be the “Alpha Male” (A positional Leader) in the group which normally leads to problems. Playing nice or being nice is always better than wanting our way all of the time, dominating others, and being unable to see both sides which may result in a dysfunctional organization.
Having power over someone is something many people strive for in life, and yet once they get to the pinnacle of their career, they realize that it is pretty lonely at the top. (try ascending the mountain together) Being nice is something special to shoot for in life but not always practical as there are many “Not so Nice Guys” in the world, which may challenge our thinking and reactions in many ways. We live in a world where Win/Lose (I win and you lose) is more important than Win/Win. (See Denis Waitley’s book; “The Double Win”) Win/win brings about more unity but is often difficult to obtain because there are always those who seek control and power over others. Just human nature.
Using the word “Nice” is not always the best word to describe being humble and kind. Nice might mean; ignorant, stupid, to play small, reserved, and cowardly. Words matter and many times have repercussions. If we say someone is nice, (our perception and biases) we may find we are only trying to raise ourselves up by making ourselves look better than the nice guy we are comparing ourselves to. (Don’t compare)
In my early years, I often heard the commands; “Play nice together,” “Take care of one-another.” “Don’t do something to others that you wouldn’t want done to you,” and my favorite “Negative” command; “Look out for number one.” Actually, I didn’t hear this last one that often. It may have been implied but my job was always to build relationships with others and never burn bridges. (Challenge but don’t destroy) You never know when the person who disagrees with you, may only be reaching out for help. For you Authentic Men (and Women of Worth) out there, make sure you understand that, yes, you are special and you might think the world revolves around YOU; but we are all equal in God’s eyes and it is important for us to reach out to others in love and not to dominate. Think of Wisdom, Taming the Big Me (Self-Mastery), Courage and Love. That is LIFE!
Elevator Guy
Quote for the Day: “Being humble means recognizing that we are not on earth to see how important we can become, but to see how much difference we can make in the lives of others.” Gordon B. Hinckley