SPECIAL EDITION// AUGUST 20, 2021
LOVE IS LIFE
“Life is Golden with 50 Years of Marriage.” I really don’t like making this about me, but yes, your Elevator Guy and Mrs. Elevator Guy (the lovely Ms. Teri) have been married 50 years on the day of this post. (August 20, 2021) Wow! Where did the time go? If I had only known I would have made it this long, I would have taken better care of myself. (Ha!) Being in our season of life, you definitely look at things differently. (Duh!) Back 50 years ago, while I fell in love with my soul mate, (I married Ms. Teri for her “soul” and not her body although the body does come into play once in a while) I didn’t realize the importance of having your best friend teach you so much about LOVE. Loving each other, Loving God, Loving yourself, and Loving others as ourselves. Marriage is valuable. In America today, only 7% of currently married people have been married 50 years or more. Some people might look at this as special. I look at it as being “Blessed.”
While we are talking about longevity, I would like to share some words of wisdom I recently read from Warren Buffet that might give you pause in your own life; “Surround yourself with people that push you to do and be better. No drama or negativity. Just higher goals and higher motivation. Good times and positive energy. No jealousy or hate. Simply bringing out the absolute best in each other.” Something for all of us to reflect on and encourage with our spouses, family, our friends and our teams. Not understanding this at the time, this is exactly what I was seeking to learn when I married Ms. Teri. She was only 18 and I was 22 and had just signed up to be in the insurance world where we had to make it on our own, by living in Philadelphia without family or friends. What a great start to our lives because we had to learn to count on one another with very few of life’s coveted conveniences. (Not even cell-phones thank God!)
There is not enough space here to unpack all of the great memories and experiences that have happened in the last 50 years together. But since I have borrowed the title of “Elevator Guy” after retirement, it is my honor, duty, and responsibility, to open people up to be more of WHO they really are and to share some valuable lessons Ms. Teri and I learned that may help you in building and maintaining strong relationships with others. In a nutshell; when the going got tough, we hung in there. We had a child, foster children, and grandchildren who God gave us as gifts, and it was our responsibility to support and love them unconditionally. We have had great backup singers for our duet in life, with friends and family, a supportive spiritual life, and learned from the mistakes of others with grace. We gave each other the gift of mutual encouragement, made vacations special, honored each other’s parents, and learned how to solve problems together. (Still a lifetime “work in progress”) We both had great role models and mentors and wanted the same for our children and friends. We played our roles as good team members leading each other with Wisdom, Self-Mastery (or taming the Big Me), Courage, and Love. (Our Band of Brothers’ Four Pillars) It has been all about our Faith, our Family and our respective careers of loving, providing for, and growing our family.
When we first commenced our life journey together, we knew we had made a “Heart to Heart” connection and moved through life by learning to communicate, understand, and know each other well. Yes, we each know what buttons we can push when disagreements arise, but apologizing properly was key to our continued relationship. Here are some more tips on “Going for the Gold;” Face the world together: Marriage is a team sport so you don’t have to compete with your spouse or others. Make your team the best team by living YOUR values together. Focus on each other’s feelings of the heart. Not issues of this world. Say what you feel and be WHO you are. (Be genuine) Respect personality differences: Being exactly the same won’t work. Compliment and complete one another. Grow together in your own special way using your God given talents and strengths. Don’t try to change one-another but recognize and respect each other’s gifts. Be a good listener: (Still trying to work on this one) Devote time to understanding one another rather than being critical of one another. Be open and honest with one another on ALL issues. Arguments and Anger should be temporary as any good relationship requires patience and effort. Make your spouse feel special: That doesn’t mean you have to buy her expensive jewels and material things. Just make small sacrifices once in a while by spending quality time or leaving her small notes on how many months you have been married. Show her that you really CARE. Remember and celebrate the good times: Make a long list of your good times and reminisce constantly. Make this part of your Living Simply, Loving Fully, Laughing Often, Learning Habitually, Listening Intently. The end result will be the lasting legacy you will leave to those you love.
Finally, “a toast” to 50 years of yours truly being “lifted up” by a beautiful soul. Teri, I can’t say I LOVE YOU enough. You are the best part of me. I am thankful for you. You showed me the way to celebrate and honor each other. You taught me to serve everyone with zero expectations and with humility. You helped me see what it means to be an “Authentic Man.” You inspire me. I cherish you. I respect you. I trust you. You are beautiful and bring beauty, joy and fulfillment to my life. You are my best friend. I love you “Now and Forever.” My gift to YOU.
Elevator Guy
Quote for the Day: “Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life.” Leo Buscaglia