JUNE 4, 2020
Building and maintaining relationships (connecting with others in a meaningful way) is a very important part of each one of our lives. Life was meant to be shared with and for others. That could be our relationship with Christ, our spouse or significant other, our family members, friends or our business partners. John Maxwell reminds us that there are four kinds of people in this world:
Takers: Are those who leverage the relationship to better themselves but no one else. Choose to be a “Giver” rather than a taker.
Developers: Are those who leverage the relationship in a positive way by bettering themselves and everyone that they meet.
Acquaintances: Are those who live off their relationship with you or others, but never do anything with it. They hang around waiting for something good to come to them. Content to live off of other’s success and never taking responsibility to grow themselves. Dig a little deeper in creating a stronger relationship.
Friends: Are those who enjoy their relationship with you. Returning your goodwill and never taking advantage of it.
Connecting with others in an art. Normally we want people to reach out to us but often we will need to seek out new and exciting relationships. Much of this depends on whether other people want to connect with you. Even the most skilled performer can’t keep up the façade forever so you had better be a genuine person in connecting with others. If you want to connect well with people, you must become the kind of person YOU would like to connect with. How do you portray yourself? What do you communicate? Are you consistent or do you only reach out when it benefits YOU?
If you want a little practice making this happen, see if you can keep these in mind:
- Connect with yourself: The relationships we have with others are largely determined by the relationship we have with ourselves. If we are not accepting of who we are, if we are uncomfortable with ourselves as people, if we don’t know our own strengths or weaknesses, then the attempts we make to connect with others will usually misfire. How can you connect with others on common ground if you don’t know and like yourself? How can you see others clearly if you have an unclear view of yourself?
- Right your wrongs: In order to connect with other people, you must have credibility. But how much credibility can you have when you make mistakes? Failure to admit those mistakes causes the message to be questioned which causes the integrity of that person to be questioned. Acknowledge your mistakes. Apologize. Make amends.
- Be accountable: One of the best compliments you can pay to another person is, “I trust you. I can count on you.” Accept a challenge and follow through. Your reputation depends on it.
- Lead the way you live: Motivational speaker Jim Rohn says, “You cannot speak that which you do not know. You cannot share that which you do not feel. And, You cannot give that which you do not possess.” “To give it and to share it, in order to be effective, you first need to have it.” “That means you first need to live it.”
Learn to accept and understand others in building and maintaining relationships. But start with yourself first.
How are YOUR relationships?
Elevator Guy