MARCH 10, 2023
One thing that I am certain is that we all have fears in life and spend an enormous amount of time and energy worrying, fighting, or running from those fears. First, I think it is important to name your fears so that you know what you are afraid of and then be intentional about your fears rather than hiding from them or covering them up like you would a blemish. (They are still there and you know it) Once you can name them, write them down and share them with those mentors and/or brothers and sisters that can help you overcome those fears or at least deal with them in a healthy manner. That is how we learn to live together.
Our fears often lead to our insecurities and our insecurities often back to our fears. When you feel insecure, it’s easy to feel afraid of the world. You are insecure about how others will perceive you, which can morph into a fear of being rejected or ostracized. (Remember; We all want to belong ) You are insecure about your appearance or social habits, which can turn into a fear of being alone; and so on.
Insecurity in both men and women is a powerful enemy. We all have a built-in thermostat of being human by the image that we have of ourselves. That self-image is deeply embedded into our subconscious mind and starts from an early age by the WIN/LOSE child of your past. Even though I was always on the move as a child, I always enjoyed winning. But it was more fun to win with others because I was taught, “Life isn’t about you anyway.” Just play your position well.
All of us learn about our fears and insecurities by observation, imitation, and repetition. We emulate our role models, observe their actions, imitate, then become what we see, hear, read, feel, and touch. Habits are passed down from one generation to another through observation, imitation, and repetition. This all comes to play and contributes to what makes up our self-image. Try taking inventory of the things you observed, actions you wanted to emulate, and how they turned out for you. Do you need work or maybe just some fine tuning?
Speaking of fears, here are three of the biggest fears that hold people back from growing and living a good life. (according to an emotional wellness coach)
- Fear of failure; We will all fail. Get back up on your horse and try again. Success is just around the corner if you keep trying.
- Fear of not being good enough: Many of us learned this in our early stages of life. Dig deep to find your uniqueness and use it to your advantage. It will be very freeing.
- Fear of disappointing others; You first born or only children out there tend to be the big pleasers. Try to be more pleasing to God rather than trying to please others. It will last forever.
In addition, here are five basic fears that many of us have in life:
- Fear of Poverty; Symptoms include indifference, doubt, worry, over-caution, and procrastination. Some people and families still carry the DNA of the threat of the Great Depression. Think about that one but have some courage to make things better by overcoming those fears.
- Fear of Criticism; This is huge with many people. Once we think we have life figured out, we don’t need anyone else to “Tell us what to do.” WRONG! We all need guidance and close relationships to guide us though life.
- Fear of ill health; I see this more with my contemporaries as we tend to worry about our health more than being grateful that we have lived this long. I like the old say; “Your health is your wealth.” Try living life that way and you just might worry less.
- Fear of “loss of love” of someone: God loves us all. But we all need someone to love and someone to love us in this earthly life. Look to your faith to assist you in overcoming this fear.
- Fear of old age; This is also a huge one for us in the fourth quarter of our lives. The only thing that is guaranteed in this life are death and taxes. (Look at this as a positive, please!)
Lots to fear in this world if we constantly fret and worry about it. Find a positive pathway by turning your fears over to God or by hanging around others who will lift your up rather than tear you down. It will be the smart thing to do.
Elevator Guy