DECEMBER 31, 2021
UNDERSTAND AND FORGIVE
We have talked before about those things IN your control and those things OUT of your control. To Review and Summarize:
Those things “IN” my control Those things “OUT” of my control
- What I say about myself Things people do and say
- How I treat other people How other people treat each other
- My Choices My Circumstances
- How I react to things What people think about me
Others words for control include; Authority, dominion, jurisdiction, and power. Yes, there will always be someone with “Perceived” power and dominion over you. How do you react to and treat those people? What choices (Try behaviors here) are you making for yourself that help you grow along the way, rather than just trying to fit in or gain control of the situation? (Seek understanding) What do you say about yourself? Remember, you have control over your emotions, opinions, and attitude. Make them positive by seeing the opportunity to build on every situation. Try using a little humor to seek understanding because there is always a lesson in each situation in which we can grow, by opening our eyes, ears, and our heart. Try it; You’ll like it.
Since many of us humans have a dominant nature or NEED to “Control”, I would encourage you to review Maslow’s Theory of Hierarchy in order to discover WHY people need and desire to be in control. In looking at Maslow’s pyramid, we first have the need to Survive with the basic needs; followed by protecting ourselves and others in staying safe; and thirdly, the desire to belong and be loved. (Maslow’s first three sets of needs) Once those needs are satisfied, the need of self-esteem (a healthy self-confidence) is critical. Often, this is where most people stop because they are so insecure and out of control with certain areas of their life, that they refuse to look forward for better things to come, always worrying and concerned about their past. These are all deficiency needs until you can conquer or accept where you are in your life, by moving forward in utilizing and crystalizing your strengths, and into understanding WHO God made you to be. Why don’t you ask HIM (and his representatives) for help along the way? He knows your every move, your thoughts, and your motives before you even ask. I hope you are comforted and not paranoid that someone might understand you better than you do yourself. That is irrational and self-sabotaging thinking.
Many people suffer from low self-esteem (your overall opinion of yourself along with how you feel about your abilities and limitations) which includes an overall sense of your personal value and self-worth. In order to get respect from others, you will need to respect yourself FIRST. When you have a healthy self-esteem, you feel good about yourself. When you have low self-esteem, you put little value on your own opinions and ideas. (Except possibly with those often close to you) More than likely, you might constantly worry that you aren’t good enough. Quit worrying and work with those close to you in order to build your self-esteem. That means you may have to admit when you are wrong at times; forgive yourself and move forward, rather than trying to control a relationship by constantly living in the past. “The past is the past and future is NOW.” Have a little hope.
In closing, think about what is IN your control with your everyday circumstances. If you want to grow into being the best version of yourself, you may need to change your environment or think about things differently in order to have a better outcome. That takes courage and vulnerability in allowing others to help you along with way. Don’t try to be someone you are not, but get with others to have them help you FIND your best self. You are unique, you are special, you were made for more and are loved by many. LOOK FORWARD optimistically and with great hope to the end game. It might be closer than you think.
Elevator Guy
Quote for the Day: “Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it requires character and self-control to understand and forgive.” Dale Carnegie