JUNE 25, 2021
LEARN TO C.A.R.E.
Last week we visited about being a “Coachable” team member along with some of my pent-up notes on coaching that I have tried to follow during my career. Not just for my business career but for my faith and for my family. We talked about the C.A.R.E. (Connecting, Achieving, Respect, and Empowerment) along with love and hope. Leading others toward the best version of themselves takes understanding and not judgment. None of us have all of the answers and it is up to each of us to navigate and learn from each other. Once we get into a position of leadership is when you can use our coaching skills to help set a shared vision, challenge, and inspire others in helping our team set a strong foundation. This takes character on everyone’s part in winning together as a team.
Once you have set a shared vision and are moving forward with C.A.R.E, love, and hope, it is time create (and hold) the space between being intentional and being present. (Fully present) It is our responsibility as coaches to define the characteristics of our coaching relationships, and to co-create spaces that support transformation. This means you will need to model the behaviors you want to encourage. If you want discipline, you had better be disciplined yourself. If you want loyalty, you had better model loyalty yourself. If you want respect, you had better give respect in return. This brings in our Band of Brothers’ Four Pillars. You had better be WISE about what you are doing. You had better make sure EGO’s are left at the door, you should encourage a “Calm Confidence” and you had better LOVE what you are doing or your team won’t become engaged. In other words, you will have to get their attention as to what is really important. Are you there to increase their income potential (a side benefit) or make them a better person? My style is one of being energetic about what I am doing. My hope is to show some energy and the benefits of an certain exercise and what it can do for the individual. But more importantly, and since we are all different personalities, show each person their position on the team and encourage them to play well as a team. NOT just as one individual.
Try being more intentional with your people. When we give our full presence and attention to somebody, we remind them of the value of each moment and in supporting them in joining us. Some team members who try to go it alone, don’t see the importance to them personally. (The Big Me) Once we get everyone’s attention, it is up to the coach to celebrate what is AWESOME about the group. Our minds are five times more likely to focus on negatives than positives. “We can’t do that.” “I can’t do that.” “You can’t do that.” “Waiting for the next shoe to drop.” What’s with this crazy feeling of “CAN’T?” “Others have done it and so can we.” If we want to succeed with our team (and families), we must create positive and powerful relationships, by making a practice of celebrating what is awesome. (POSITIVE and good rather than NEGATIVE and bad) When we recognize and appreciate the small wins at every step of the way, we build toward momentum and increase enjoyment in the process.
Get GREAT at celebrating wins. All day/ Every day. Both for ourselves and for others. This means we need to have that deep connection with the person we want to serve in supporting THEM. We will need to be fully present in all interactions and LISTEN fully to what is being said. Using the H.U.G. framework here is important. Hear + Understand + Get. Hear the person completely and then repeat back what they said to you. Understand their point of view as valid, given their perspective, and let them know why it makes sense. Get where they are coming from by empathizing (there is that word empathy again) with their experience. (“I get how that can feel, I’ve felt it before”)
Remember, as long as your motives are ethical, moral, and bring value to the group, be more intentional about getting what you want and need FOR the group. It will be a great foundation for building a great culture in creating a winning team.
Elevator Guy
Quote for the day: “It’s what you learn, after you know it all, that counts.” John Wooden