MARCH 31, 2023
Your Elevator Guy is a huge fan of author and speaker Stephen Mansfield. Brother Randy and I have used Mansfield’s great book “Men on Fire” with our Foundational Band of Brothers to keep our young professionals thinking about what it is to be an authentic man and great leaders, along with fighting the good fight we all face each day as men. Mansfield grew up as a “Military Brat” and enjoyed challenging his friends and colleagues with those leadership qualities necessary to be a great leader. He now lives in Nashville, TN with his wife Beverly who is an award-winning songwriter and producer.
Growing up in mainly military and athletic cultures, Mansfield quickly developed friends among talented and “successful” artists that Mansfield admired. After spending time with his Nashville friends, Mansfield found their way of communicating with one another was disturbing. Here you had some of the most talented and revered artists in the world, griping, bitching and moaning with a general sense of unhappiness with the world as it was. Mansfield came to realize that these people weren’t really that unhappy. In fact, much of their complaining was a way of affirming their “Group Think.” They actually found it encouraging. After leaving many such gatherings grieving, Mansfield thought these people were among the most miserable people in the world and it distressed him given their amazing gifts and opportunities.
Mansfield then decide to try something with a few of these talented friends. Over a lunch, he would let them go on for a while with their negative comments. He would finally pipe in; “Look. I know that tour may be filled with hassles, but I heard that solo you did on such and such a song. Man, I was so moved! Thank you for that.” Usually, the whole tone of the gathering would change. They would excitedly talk about who was over the top in that show and how they arrived at certain arrangements. These were all good people who had devoted their lives to their art and produced great beauty in the world. However, their habits and negativity had evolved into a downer way of interacting.
How do you interact when you are gathering with your friends or family? Is it uplifting or a huge downer? After so many downers, you might just find your group thinning out with little interest listening to everyone complain about everything. Try a little leadership by hanging around those that are more uplifting and positive about life. You don’t have to have all the answers. None of us do. Just participate and “Lead” conversations that build a spirit of love within the group. It is not difficult. You don’t have to flatter the heck out of someone with false praise. Just encourage them to think more positively about the GOOD things they have going or seeing the beauty in their own lives. Something that lifts your own soul higher. Soon, you will find yourself feeding off their energy and our lives become much more unified and positive. Try being a “Winner rather than a Whiner.”
Now go be that great leader that God intended for you. But remember; “Bitching Ain’t Leadership.”
Elevator Guy
Quotes for the Day; “The tendency to whining and complaining may be taken as the surest sign symptom of little souls and inferior intellects.” Lord Jeffrey
“The only thing complaining does is convince other people that you are not in control.” Unknown