OCTOBER 22, 2021
We all want to make new and better connections and build stronger relationships with others in our life. We have to listen to our bosses, our children, our friends, and our life partners. (While you are at it, why don’t you start listening to what God is telling you). I have learned (and still learning) over the years that if I was going to make a connection with a customer, my kids, a friend, or one of our employees, I had to make sure that I “LISTENED” to them. This allows you to open a door to THEM in order to understand and value them as a person. Remember, all everyone of us really wants in life, besides being understood and having others INTERESTED in us, is to be loved and to belong. Think about this and try it on those who you are wanting to build a relationship or a better “Connection.”
In my spare time, I like to spend time on the golf driving range. It is great therapy for me and allows me to actually “Practice” on my game. Many times, I happen to be hitting next to the pro who is giving a lesson to someone. It might be a young adult or a so called “mature” adult who is trying to learn the game or improve on their game. I watch and LISTEN as the pro suggests tips on what the hitter should be doing to improve their swing. It tells me a lot about the person hitting as numerous times, the hitter tries to do what the pro suggests to them, only to turn around in disgust with his or her own diagnosis of the problem and how HE (the hitter) might fix it. After the lesson, I would approach the pro and asked him why he went along with the arrogance of the hitter’s selfish suggestions. The answer I got was not surprising as the pro has seen it many times. The pro told me he understands that improvement takes practice and building on good habits. But some people, WHO THINK THEY KNOW-IT-ALL, are not teachable. All they want to hear are echoes. Meaning, they only want to hear that they are doing great the way they are and are NOT willing to change. SO SAD!
If you think about it, life’s lessons that we all try to learn, may be happening in the same manner as the relationship between the hitter and the pro. Are you one of those? Do you listen or are you the pro? (somebody needs a little lesson in HUMILITY here) If you never listen, before long, the people around you will stop teaching or talking with you. (unless you want to blow a lot of cash) I see many leaders in this world who can’t get out of their own way. If you don’t listen to your people or those who actually KNOW, you will become isolated as a leader and that is NOT a good place to be.
As a leader, we often base our leadership on the assumption that YOU, the leader, is the only one who is right. YOUR ideas are the only ideas being implemented, no one else is taking ownership except YOU. This leads to lack of connection with your team and is not a recipe for success as an organization. You may just want to listen to your people and WANT to change and make the effort to do things differently. If you ARE a good listener, you will be able to direct your people and win them over to a WIN/WIN direction that helps GROW an organization. This goes for individual relationships as well.
Too many times, our priorities are the ONLY way forward. Expressing YOUR ideas and convincing others to buy into them, not listening to feedback or learning what others have to say can be dangerous to one’s health and the health of the entire organization.
Are you listening? If not, try reminding yourself DAILY to listen well. Stop interrupting.(Something this cowboy is trying to learn) Start asking questions and have people hold YOU accountable for listening. If you want to be a good connecting leader, become a better listener. Have the COURAGE to meet with your team, colleagues, mentor, friends, and family and ask them to rate you as a listener. YOU will learn much more about YOURSELF and be able to help build stronger and lasting relationships. It is the RIGHT thing to do.
Elevator Guy