OCTOBER 21, 2022
In my life-long search for a little wisdom, which means I need to unpack the negative thoughts in life that distract me, I have come to realize that it is much more important to learn to understand others, by understanding ourselves first. We each see our own world perspective based on our life’s experiences. So, we all need to answer this question; “WHO are you and WHO are you becoming?” One of the most critical questions we all need to ask ourselves at any season of our life. Hopefully, you are someone who has grown and learned from the mistakes of your past (and we all make mistakes) into becoming more of who God made you to be, by living out your purpose or meaning in life. The wisdom of human nature is that the ultimate quest in life should be for understanding and not judgment. (Leave that up to the Big Guy) This means “getting-along” (relationships) with others and acknowledging their points of view, by accepting WHO they are and where they are in this stage of their life. Have some “empathy” (not pity) for them, which is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Without it, it will be hard to grow your own heart.
It is human nature for each of us, to want to be understood. But how well do you communicate your intentions or motives to allow for understanding. Do you have to be the alpha male, the Queen Bee, the Top Dog in all that you do? Remember, life is not about you, rather about you serving and helping others get what they want and expecting nothing in return. That means you had better see things from their point of view and not worry about jumping to the conclusion of premature judgments. Think outside of yourself as to their needs and wants in life. Maybe they are living life with a wound that is hard to see but reflects itself in every interaction of their life. Maybe you have a friend that is so insecure with themselves, that it is their nature to appear to look good at all costs and at all times, along with trying to “Buy” the respect of others, just to belong to a certain group or organization.(That will never work in the end, so you better change your modus operandi.) I like the old saying; “Show me your friends and I will show you your future.” Friends come and go and yet it is important to find those few good ones (Not evil friends) that will serve with you by challenging you in life in becoming the best version of yourself. (Remember; “Don’t compete, Complete.”)
Are you someone who is having an on-going feud with an old friend, an opponent or a competitor that, in your mind, has wronged you or said malicious and untrue statements about you to others or on social media. STOP worrying or being anxious about it. It is out of your control and usually reflects on your opponent and their own character and insecurities. You still might be the stubborn martyr and refuse to forgive and move on. But is this the healthy thing to do for yourself? I have seen far too many very successful people go to their graves with a hardening of their heart, by carrying around a whole bunch of guilt, shame, hatred, and self-loathing for many years. By today’s standards, they were very intelligent, successful, charismatic people. Yes, they were outwardly presumed wise, courageous, and self-disciplined. But where was the love they were promised along the way? Yes, they may have loved themselves. (Maybe too much) They were unable to forget that person they were competing against in their minds; that person who did them wrong; and was traveling right along with them in their head the rest of their lives, blocking any attempt at redemption, love and understanding. WOW! What of waste of valuable time, energy, and peace of mind.
Maybe it is time to unpack some of those old wounds that distract and threaten our own mental and spiritual health by seeking understanding rather than judgment. We are called to love one another. Especially those who are hard to love. This is where a great friend or mentor comes in. Someone you trust to help you through those old wounds and that will love you rather than judge you. As Stephen Covey reminds us; “Seek first to understand, then be understood.” Try it, you’ll like it.
Elevator Guy
Quote for the Day; “Be curious, not judgmental.” Walt Whitman