FEBRUARY 4, 2022
BE INTERESTED
In Part II of Dale Carnegie’s best-selling book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” Carnegie says this; “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” If you are into making more friends, building better connections, and improving your relationships with others, this is something you might want to study and learn. Unfortunately, most of us think we are “Special,” “entitled,” or too busy, as we go through life trying to win others over (WOO with Clifton Strength Finders) by having them interested in us first. Of course, this doesn’t work. People are NOT interested in you. They are not interested in me. They are interested in themselves; morning, noon, and night. It is called “Human Nature.” (Don’t take it personally)
Have you ever noticed in working with anyone, especially children and students, that, if you are truly interested in them, you may just find that they are interested in you and might give you their attention? Those of us in sales call that a “Buy Signal.” Of course, I am not in the business of selling people anything. I am interested in each one of them as a person and what I might be able to offer in “Lifting Them Up” in doing MORE in their lives or in becoming the best version of themselves. (If interested, follow us at elevatorguy.net) That means I need to find out what makes them tick; what their interests are; and their life experiences. Most people interested in growth and improvement, want to learn and as long as someone is interested in them. You can say the same for those associates you work with. You see, if we are truly engaged, we all want to be noticed and belong. In fact, many of us go out of our way to get noticed. My personality is somewhat loud and obnoxious but deep down, I am just interested in YOU and your vision for your life. (I am just trying to get your attention) Once that connection is made, it is up to either person to see how far they want to take their relationship. Being my ripe age, I have had numerous opportunities to meet many interesting people. Try being curious in others with your relationships or you may just become a bitter old cynic in life by blaming everyone else for your problems. DON’T play the victim by being stuck on yourself. Just be curious and accept the cards you have been dealt with gratitude as there is always a lesson in it for each one of us.
Carnegie reminds us that; “It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men (only interested in themselves) who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.” If you like people, it will show. It might be your smile, how you dress, your body language, or your age. If you want to make friends, you need to put yourself out there to do things and be interested in other people. Things that require time, energy, unselfishness, and thoughtfulness. If you want to make friends, then greet people with animation, enthusiasm, and a smile. If you are a happy person, you will have a better chance at connecting than someone who DEMANDS your interest or is constantly angry at the world. This is a good place to be “Self-aware” as to whether you feel you have made a connection or not, with a genuine smile and not a smirk. Try learning to laugh at yourself more as this makes you more interesting.
If you want to make friends, then you had better be genuinely interested in other people. ALL kinds of people and not just those who are here to serve you. Notice I used the word “Genuine” because if you are a phony, most people will see through your guise and it will be much more difficult to get them interested in you or what you are have to offer. Don’t just turn on the charm or smile when you want to make a sale. Learn to be “charming” by being genuinely interested in and happy with yourself and others. Sounds pretty simple but it works. You must have a good time meeting people if you expect them to have a good time meeting you.
For years I have made it a point to find out the birthdays of my family and friends. Just my way of being interested in them, showing that I love and care for them. Many people SMILE when they hear their birthday. Remember, “it costs nothing but creates much. It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give. It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. It creates happiness and positivity everyway it is used.”
Be interested in others rather than trying to be interesting to them. If you do this, there’s a better chance they’ll like and trust you more. Just one of the more rewarding parts of life in creating strong relationships both in and out of the workplace.
Elevator Guy
Quote for the Day; “Nothing is interesting if you’re not interested.” Helen Maclnness