OCTOBER 9, 2020
Friendship is a close association between two people marked by feelings of care, concern, and even love. I pray each of you have lots of friends that you care about and that care about you. (Jesus cares about you so maybe you can make him your best friend) There are many types of friendships. All of them have a place in our lives whether with our Faith, our Families or our careers. Friendships require reciprocity of admiration, respect, trust and emotional support. Quality friendships are extremely important in each one of our lives for our overall happiness. Strong friendships, built over many years, are often more important to our health and happiness than even family involvement or support and the benefits are lifelong. Friends help us live longer, reduce stress, and give us that sense of belonging that we ALL crave. Having a strong network of buddies (or ladies) also increases self-confidence, plus providing for much-needed emotional support during trying times like illness, loss of a loved one, or divorce.
Friendships are not easy. It demands time and effort and usually requires that a person put someone else, other than himself, FIRST. This means you must sacrifice for someone else expecting nothing in return. This means you must love someone more than yourself in order to really connect with that person if you are fortunate enough to have a “Best Friend.” (Empathy comes to mind here) They understand you without you having to explain yourself. It is the kind of friend who loves you unconditionally no matter who you think you are. Best friends are the rarest type of friend and the kind that we all need to have in our lives. They are not people you talk to every day. You might go weeks, months, or even years without connecting. But once you do, you pick up right where you left off the last time you were together, giving you that opportunity to go even deeper with them in the relationship. Don’t get confused about your “Friend status” on social media. Best friends wouldn’t post something about a person without their permission or even at all unless it was to lift them up. Try being a little more discreet with your best friends as the world doesn’t always need to know how you feel about every little thing.
I will only put one paragraph of caution for this Elevator Guy remark today regarding friendship. I consider myself to be blessed with lots of friends. Some are just people I meet on the streets. (I really enjoy meeting and greeting new people) Some are people I have worked with and known for many years. Some of them I see at Church, at social gatherings, or on the golf course. Many of them I consider close friends and yet, they may not be my best friend. Those looking for their best friends may try too hard to win over a relationship by trying to make the other person a best friend. BOTH parties need to acknowledge and appreciate others. Many of you may not be in the same season as a new acquaintance or be in the same social circles. That is OK. Go looking for genuine people who might be able to mentor you or better yet, you mentor them. Then maybe a better friendship can ensue. Friends, early on in the relationship, will disappoint you, let you down, disown you, or try to use you to make them look good in comparison. Don’t hang around those people as they tend to “glom-on” to you more than you want. You will know if you have made a good connection or not. If it isn’t working in being “Best Friends,” show them other ways they can feel like they belong.
I have to share that this last weekend was one of the most exciting weekends I have had in a long time. I met up with two of my long-time friends that I grew up with in Kearney, Nebraska. It has been over a year since I had seen both of them but I knew it was going to be a special time re-connecting as we laughed a lot and cried a little at how much we care about one another. Since each one of us have been through some challenging times in life, these were the men that stood by me when things were tough. I hope I reciprocated in the same manner for them as they both have been through more hardships than most of us can even imagine. I can only say that I am proud to call them friends and that we will always be our own “Band of Brothers.” Thanks Ron and Mark. I love and honor both of you. You are both “Men on Fire.”
I often get many young people asking me for advice on various topics mostly having to do with their careers. Most of them are in their twenties or thirties and many may not know what they want to do with their lives. I encourage them to take a deep look inside to see WHO they are and what strengths they bring to the table. Where do you come from? What is your story? Who are your friends? We all have strengths but most of us choose not to use them in our lives until it is too late. Find out now so that you can walk into the next chapter of your life with courage and understanding of WHO you are and what you can do. I read a saying this week that I feel is so true. “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” Not everybody wants to be shown but everybody wants close friends. Are your friends moving YOU in the right direction or are they taking you down a path that won’t be good for you in the long run? Choose wisely.
Put yourself out there in the world. Don’t worry about making a ton of friends. Just be open to those genuine people who care about others more than themselves. They are all around us and they are looking for YOU. You will know when you have made a good connection. Do it as a group. It is much more fun that way. First, be a friend. Don’t expect anything in return. If it happens, you just might be on to something. Go be a best friend to someone. They need you.
Elevator Guy