MARCH 12, 2020
Last week we talked about ROR (Return on Relationship). All of us have that innate desire to connect or influence others and to bring value to others. It is called human nature. Some people “Go-Along” to get along and others “Go-Forward” to get ahead. We all should be thinking ahead and how each one of us can bring value to a personal relationship or an organization. Building “Deep” relationships is key in building great families or organizations. That means YOU need to understand what all of your team members want and need and then endeavor to meet their needs. This doesn’t mean a bigger office or more money. Building deep relationships involves TRUST in and among two individuals and teams. Do you have that with YOUR team?
The relationships we have with others are largely determined by the relationship we have with ourselves. If we are uncomfortable or unaccepting as to WHOM we are in this world, if we don’t know our strengths and weaknesses, then we probably won’t be very successful at connecting with others. Think about your fears in meeting others. Do you worry about how you look or that you might say something stupid? That is what most people think about. STOP IT! You don’t have to be the one who “knows-it-all.” Those people think TOO much of themselves and are the ones who need to do an insecurity check. Try looking for common ground with others if you don’t know yourself or like yourself very much. You just might find that you know something the other person doesn’t and brings value to the conversation.
Try learning to “Connect with yourself.” That means getting to know yourself. Start by writing down (journaling) your story. We each have a great story to tell and you should be able to understand and communicate how you grew up, what were some of the obstacles you faced in life, and what motivates you in life. I hope it is not just making lots of money because we need those “Humble Servants” that make our world a better place. This is where it is advisable to find a great mentor so that you can talk with others about your weaknesses. Make sure you are intentional by recognizing that we ALL have weaknesses and should work on them in order to grow and improve our relationships and situation in life.
Doing a self-assessment of one’s life is always a good exercise for anyone at any age. Do some self-reflections on your life. It probably hasn’t been as bad as you make it out to be. Try looking for the peak experiences and those people in your life that brought much joy and happiness to you. Then, once you do a self-assessment, try LOVING yourself a little more. Not in an egotistical way but in a way that sets you apart from others.(We are each unique in some way) What is it that you are good at? Once you figure this out, talk yourself up. Write down your own press clippings so that you can read them again and again. This is a positive exercise and will cement your self-worth in showing others and yourself WHO you really are in this world. But remember to take action. Don’t just reflect. This is what I like to refer to as the “Positive” outlook on life. Remember, life is good and full of great surprises. Expect those “FUN” surprises where God shows us how silly we might be in being too serious about things. Laugh it off because it is small in the big picture of life. Remember, God has a sense of humor too.
More on making great connections in future remarks. We can all be better connectors in this world which will help each of us communicate better with others. Having a deep understanding and relationship with another person can bring long lasting results in many areas of life. Make it about your Faith, your Family, and your Career and you will understand that life can bring a fullness that you never thought possible. All part of learning to really know yourself and why you are here.
“Before you Connect with others, connect with yourself.”
Elevator Guy